- November 30th, 2009
Whew, the last bit has been crazy. In the transition from my current job to the one I'll be working shortly has had me working ten of the last twelve days(including 4 12 hour days), and then I've had to cram my own stuff into the little bit off off time. So needless to say I've been pretty busy, and wiped out as well. I'm still planning on doing my musical posts, and I have a pretty good list I've put together so far with several more I haven't gotten written down yet and forgotten. But those are generally going to take up more time, and I did want to get this down.
I've obviously had a lot of time to think, and once again I find myself needing to make the effort to take credit for the progress I've made. A reminder to myself, a motivational effort if nothing else. So, I keep trying to do it in my head, but I think here might be a better place, as the effort should bring up more.
I haven't exactly rocketed forward in my social life. I'm still mostly sitting at home in the odd off day I have, generally at the computer. But while minimal, I've kept up some sort of effort even if I do need to learn to push myself further at some point. I'm still going into town and hanging out to watch football, at least on the Sundays I'm not working. I kind of wish I'd connect more with the guys I've been hanging out with there, but other than our choice of football team, I don't think we have a whole lot in common. Not too many games left unfortunately, so if I do get to know them better I have to do it soon.
I am back to gaming as well. Only once so far, but I've been talking with one of them a fair bit and we have plans to meet up a couple more times already. So that's positive, even if it does increase my relative geek factor a couple levels. We'll see how it goes in the long run.
While perhaps overly safe, most of my work in trying to be social has of course been here on the computer. Getting to know new people, including you guys. Just getting used to putting myself out there, practice in safety before I really take the leap and do it in the real world. I've had decent success with that, though I'm still hesitant. It's a process, as many of you have experienced, and I'll keep working on it. Just have to take heart in the progress, though I wish it would move faster.
I think I've also made progress as a responsible adult. When we were married, Andi handled all our finances. Initially it was to make things easier since I was gone so much, but I think it became a crutch. I ended up with no idea regarding our finances, and I allowed that lack of knowledge to make my own tendencies to be frugal go into overdrive. I never knew how much money we had, and Andii always seemed stressed about it, so I overcompensated by not spending anything for the most part.
I don't mean to make that sound all horrible, the point was that I've obviously had to learn the finance thing, and while I'm not entirely comfortable with it, I think I have it under control. At least, if I'm missing anything, I don't know about it. As I was saying, I feel pretty decent with how I'm handling things so far. The biggest thing is that I've learned to relax a bit with it all. I don't stress about occassionally spending some money on myself to actually have fun, the way I should have been. I wish that I made more progress beyond the one bill I've completely taken care of, but have learned the hard way that it's no good to take that to the extremes either. Like most things, you have to balance it out. It could be a lot better, but that'll come in time.
Heck, balance is the real lesson I guess. Life seems to get out of whack when you let one facet of it take over, at the cost of another. That's what had happened to me, and it cost me greatly. So now I'm finding that balance, getting control over aspects of my life that got out of control while developing others that never really developed. I need to be patient and persistant, and things will come into line.